double haiku

Poetry by Mike Casetta, Nov 26, 2022.

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  1. Mike Casetta

    Mike Casetta Active Member

  2. Julie A. Dickson

    Julie A. Dickson Well-Known Member

    breast milk gateway to food...interesting
     
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  3. Tom Strong

    Tom Strong Active Member

    Good one Mike. Then I'm quite sure she had the gall to tell you no more diapers!
     
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  4. Mike Casetta

    Mike Casetta Active Member

    Thanks Julie...breast milk is the gateway to the harder stuff = Everything!
     
  5. Mike Casetta

    Mike Casetta Active Member

    Potty training sucked! ;)
    Thanks Tom!
     
  6. Lance Jencks

    Lance Jencks Member

    Mike, my interest in verse is its form: please forgive what I'm about to type.

    Every English-language poet writes "Haiku" in the title when they present a let's-pretend haiku poem they've written. But there is no Japanese-language haiku with "haiku" in the title ... authentic haiku texts are UNTITLED.

    Further, counting English-language syllables to make a purported haiku is a fool's errand. Google explains it this way:

    "The concept of a syllable is different in Japanese than you may be used to with English. In Japanese, each kana character is its own syllable. This includes the vowels (あ, い, う, え, お) and the character ん (which might be uncomfortable for an English speaker because there is no vowel sound in there).May 20, 2019"

    Famous haiku in English translation:

    Screenshot_2022-11-27-19-51-19-162.jpg
    MORE IN NEXT POST....
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2022
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  7. Lance Jencks

    Lance Jencks Member

    The other important point is that Japanese haiku are written vertically, not horizontally:

    1385598-original.jpg

    Mike, as a California Zen kind of guy, I love haiku in translation, and love the Zen koans even more. When it became obvious to me that I could not produce haiku in my native tongue, I decided to write IN THE SPIRIT OF HAIKU, not in the so-called English format.

    SARA'S SMILE
    My heart starts beating
    when I think of her name.
    It beats even faster when I
    think of her husband.
    L/J

    My best to you, Mike. Apologies again for sharing my thoughts in such a blunt way. I only have so many words left to type, then that'll be it.

    -Lance
     
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  8. Mike Casetta

    Mike Casetta Active Member

    Thanks Lance. I appreciate your love for classical Japanese haikus and Zen koans. No apology needed. I do understand that counting 17 syllables does not a haiku make, especially with the explanation that you provided concerning how each Japanese character is a syllable. I admit that I use the American English form lacking a deep respect for the discipline and I often simply use the format playfully. I am pleased you took the time to share this with me. I hope all the words you have left are all the words you need. Thanks for sharing the masterful, famous haiku in English translations. Take good care!
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2022
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  9. Mike Casetta

    Mike Casetta Active Member

    Thanks Daniel!
     
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  10. Lance Jencks

    Lance Jencks Member

    I also like samurai films!

    : = )

    ~~

    Just FYI, the third and final line in the English translations above is called "the cutting line." The cutting line is something of a reversal of what went before ... or at least a new revelation which casts a telling light over the prior text. For example:

    Consider me
    as one who loved poetry
    and persimmons.


    Here, the cutting line brings us back-down-to-earth from the rarified pastime of reading & making poems ... back to the ordinary material act of eating a piece of fruit. All of Zen is like this: the moment our spirit soars, we are reminded of the material nature of actual reality.

    (Hence the whacks on one's shoulders while sitting Zazen.)

    ~~

    A student once asked his teacher, "Master, what is enlightenment?"
    The master replied, "When hungry, I eat. When tired, I sleep."

    This is one of my favorite koans because the central lesson of Zen is unification of our mentality with material fact. "When hungry I eat; when tried, I sleep." A beautiful scripture for me, because this is exactly how life is best lived.

    ~~

    Anyway, think about the possibility of a final cutting line for your next haiku — a far more important component of the classic form than any particular number of English-language syllables.

    I close with another Bashō, among of my favorites:

    The storehouse
    having burned down,
    nothing obscures my view
    of the bright moon.
    .
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2022
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  11. silent lotus

    silent lotus Well-Known Member

    Screen Shot 2022-01-08 at 12.58.50.png
     

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