More by Raymond Huffman
  1. Raymond Huffman

    Raymond Huffman Well-Known Member

    A Song

    Listen to me now friend
    across the precise sky
    the words slicing the stars

    I am a thousand miles away
    or perhaps ten million

    The soaked sun is gone
    Ground begins its nightly movement
    A bird never heard sings softly

    Here across the warming waves
    comes this song

    Whether you hear it or not
    depends on whether you can remember
    that once there was a zebra butterfly
    on the blueberry plant
    and that there was only that one
    singing its silent song
    to the silent leaves
     
  2. Julie A. Dickson

    Julie A. Dickson Well-Known Member

    I like this part:
    The soaked sun is gone
    Ground begins its nightly movement

    A bird never heard sings softly

    Just a thought- the word silent used in both the last two lines?
    It took me away a bit...
     
  3. Raymond Huffman

    Raymond Huffman Well-Known Member

    Yeah. In retrospect, it probably doesn't work that well. It could be revised. Thanks, Julie.
     
  4. Julie A. Dickson

    Julie A. Dickson Well-Known Member

    just something like quiet song, sweet song, mournful song, etc....
    I really like this poem :)
     

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